Here I sit debating about what to write on my premier blog feelings of fear and doubt are showing up as I am the Facebook friend who NEVER posts; likes and the random comment is the extent of my sharing things publicly! Writing a blog that’s completely uncharted territory! So here goes…. Welcome to my Journey to Wholeness!
It has been the best of times and the worst of times over the past almost 2 years. I have been on a personal growth journey to wholeness that started with my husband passing away. This bombshell rocked me to my core and shook my life up in a way that has forever changed me. I want to say, it’s not that I was unhappy in my previous life, things were good we had a plan! We both held positions we enjoyed and had a life that was fulfilling….. or so I thought! Looking back now I can recognize there was this quiet whisper inside me saying there is more, so much more! But I was too busy with life to listen!
I loved my position in the human services working with people has always been my passion. Sure it was stressful but what a great feeling being able to support people in attaining the lives that they desired. The discord came from seeing people desperate to make changes in their lives, trying what they could, to make those changes and in most cases make some but what I was noticing was that as soon as things got difficult in their lives or they hit a roadblock they would revert back to old patterns. It was clear they had all the intention but something was lacking. So I would help them pick up the pieces, dust them off and send them back on their path. Over and over and over! This commitment and dedication and overall resilience inspired me! It was just so heart breaking to see so many individuals trying so hard to only be back in almost the same place. Don’t get me wrong there were success and most times each time they fell it wouldn’t be quite as low down as the last time. So there was progress. From an outsiders perspective there just seemed to be something sucking them back down.
My observation through the years, we operate on a set of beliefs, fears and patterns which in most cases are laying just below the surface. They rule over our internal dialogue, external actions and our perceptions. Over my years of work, it became so clear to me that when it comes to making changes in life there is always a reason you are in the situation in the first place. Whether consciously or not (most times not consciously) we make choices that keep us stuck in these same old patterns. If we are unaware of these patterns then we are bound to keep repeating them and they keep playing out in our lives.
If you were to really truly able look at your life from an outsiders perspective the patterns start to show, if you could really objectively hear internal and external dialogue then your beliefs and fears start to present themselves. (PS. This is what a life coach does and why it is such a powerful relationship!)
The positive here is once we become aware of these patterns, beliefs and fears we have a choice! SO through awareness we have a choice if they are serving us – great! If not its time to make some changes!
Back to my story…This is where I found myself! My husbands passing became the catalyst to push me to what I had always known on some level. With love and support I started to recognize those patterns, to really listen to the internal and external dialogue and started taking stock of my life. For this I am grateful! That may sound weird to be grateful for such a trauma but that is where I am at!
This bombshell has given me the opportunity to grow, something that I probably wouldn’t have done on my own, like I said I was not necessarily unhappy before, but looking back now I can see just how unfulfilled I was and in comparison to how I feel now, wow what a difference. I can truly say for this I am grateful! I know there will be roadblocks and detours but that is the fun of growing and learning! This is my journey to wholeness (of which I am still on) and I am loving it!
So welcome to my journey! My vision for this blog is to inspire others on their journey and create a supportive community for others to turn to while they travel their road! Please join me it’s much more fun to travel with a group!