The more I learn about our minds, the more I understand the statement “We create our reality”. This may make you scratch your head, but really, everything we see and do in this life is filtered through our minds and, our minds although built the same, are our own unique filters to the world.
Think about this…
Have you ever had a disagreement with a friend or spouse because there was a “miscommunication”? They say something, and you hear or interpret something else? This is exactly what I am talking about. All of the information that is taken into our minds, like in the example what our friend said, is filtered through our incredible, individual minds. So we interpret the message, including the words, we hear the tone of voice, the hidden meaning, the connotation and the overall interpretation in our minds. Which means what they really said and what we actually understand can be two separate things.
Another example, say you are out in public and someone looks at you. Many of us start conjuring up a story in our heads that they are staring at us because there is something wrong with us. We start checking our teeth with our tongue, we maybe rub our face to make sure there is nothing on it, we adjust our clothes to make sure they are straight. All the while, there is a monologue running through our head. Your monologue could be any version of these (or maybe something a little different) “they are staring at me because I am dressed like a slob today”, “I look fat”, “they think I am loser”, “they are wondering why I am all alone”, “they think I am an idiot looking at the menu so long”, “they think I am ugly”, “they think why is she not working now”. On and on our story goes in our minds, our particular version of the story depends on our individual filters but what is common is that we all are making up a story. What really happened… this person looked in your direction, that’s it! Everything else you filled in with your mind, you created a whole story around one simple action. The thing is, we know nothing other than they looked in our direction. But because we have created this story, we operate in our world as our story is the truth. It may be true, but it just as likely not! We convince ourselves our story is reality. We say to our friends “There was this person at the coffee shop and they stared at me and gave me a look like….” We continue with our perception saying, “they are a jerk” and “how can they judge me”. WOW! We have now created a whole lot of anxiety and really all we know for sure is that this person looked in your direction, we are not even sure they were looking at us!
Does this sound familiar? This is how our mind works! It takes the information we receive and filters it, fills in the blanks and creates stories from what it perceives, all of which may or may not be true.
Is this a bad thing?
Not necessarily, but when we are not aware that we are on autopilot and that we are in a story, we are convinced that our version is truth and we operate as if it was true. We judge ourselves, close ourselves off to opportunities and cause ourselves a lot of unneeded stress, all for nothing! We are letting our minds run the show and we are just accepting that what it observed and created is actual fact. When we are on autopilot we miss all the other possibilities and because we are in our own heads we can completely misunderstand a situation. This is how our thoughts create our reality, we really do create our own reality based on the filters in our mind.
When we learn to come off of autopilot and we understand how our mind filters information. We have true power to either accept the stories it is feeding us or question them and get a different perspective. Ultimately, we have a choice! When we stop living on autopilot we are more aware and, therefore, empowered to choose our behaviors and actions out of awareness rather than living in the shadows of our mind.
This may sound a little foreign to you and maybe a little unbelievable but take a minute to really think about it. Have you ever watched a movie or show or read a book and then when you talked about it with someone else and they had a different understanding or remembered parts that you can’t recall or had a completely different take on it? That’s because your filters are unique to you and theirs are unique to them and what REALLY happened in the movie, show or book was filtered through two different minds.
Why is this important to understand?
The thing is, these filters can cause us a lot of anxiety, confusion, and frustration. When we believe our version of reality is the true version, anyone who does not see it the same is either arguing with us or not understanding. Not to mention the fact that like in the above scenario, we cause ourselves a lot of stress … for no reason at all.
I have personally been on this journey of coming off autopilot and it has been an eye-opening one. There are so many things that I just accepted as fact about myself and my world, I never questioned the validity of these stories. Having the tools I have now, I am defining who I am on my own terms, it is no longer my mind that dictates who I “need to”, “have to” or “should be” or the stories that I listen to. It is me who makes the choice and I make the choice based on what is best for me, authentically, not what my mind is telling me, and that is empowering! Don’t get me wrong, I still have the filters. The difference now is they are not running in the shadows controlling how I show up in my life, rather, I make conscious choices on how I want to view and operate in my world. That to me is true power and the start of living an authentic life!
Interested in coming off autopilot? Or just want more information, check out the ReDefine You! On Your Terms! self-guided program.