Tag Archives: attitude of gratitude

Lesson in Gratitude

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I had an interesting experience the other day, and for me, it was a great reminder of why gratitude is such a life changer!

This is how my morning started…

I was getting a cold, so was feeling not the greatest. I woke up to a colder than expected morning and was getting ready for work. I went to take my dog for her walk, and a thought popped into my mind ‘you should probably start your car before your walk’ (usually I do it after). So I did, and it didn’t start. It’s 430 in the morning, so there is not a whole lot of people awake to ask for a boost not to mention it is freezing outside. This had completely upset my morning routine!

A lesson in Gratitude

My parents live just around the corner from me, so I decided I would go and pick up their car (as they are out of town) and take it to work and deal with my car later. I walked my dog who I have to say loves the cold, so she wanted to stop and smell, I wanted to hurry up, I was freezing not to mention a bit grouchy about my car! I picked up my parents’ car as I walked past my parents’ house. The car was in the garage… nice it was warm, but to get it out I had to find their keys and the garage opener, nothing that significant just a few minutes and a little frustration added to the already frustrating morning. I drove home feeling a bit frazzled.

I went to prepare my breakfast and spilt my almond milk and started thinking ‘oh it’s going to be one of those days!’. When I left for work, I was a couple minutes behind schedule. I got a few blocks from my house and realized I had left my keys at home (as I didn’t have my car) which meant I did not have my work keys, so I cursed, turned around and returned home. Now I was rushing! Of course, on my way to work, I hit all the red lights… this never happens as I am the only car on the road this early. I grumbled at the lights and started to curse this day. It seemed the morning, well the last 45 minutes had been a series of unfortunate events. I realize nothing major, but it was enough at this point, to get me grumbling, grunting my frustration and complaining about the day already!

It was at this point it hit me… ‘Really?!? Tara what do you have to complain about’.

A Lesson in Gratitude

 

That’s when my perspective shifted. I had so much to be grateful for…

I had woken up in a warm home, I had tried to start my car before my walk, I had access to a car that was all ready to go, I had completed my morning routine with only a couple of minutes lost. REALLY what was the big deal?

This thought reminded me too often we focus on life’s frustrations. I started out my drive to work focusing on the fact that my car wouldn’t start and by the time I got to work the reality of the situation sunk in. Really… it was a great day! Things could have gone so much worse. I could have had to take a cab to work, which would have resulted in me being late, I could not have had time to make my breakfast, I could have gotten all the way to work then realized I didn’t have the keys, and there are so many worse complications that could have happened!

By the time I got to work my mood had shifted, and I was ready for the day. In fact, I didn’t even think about my car again until I went to leave work and realized I had my Dad’s car.

A Lesson in Gratitude

Now I know that for most of us when we have these kinds of days, we focus on it, we repeat the days’ frustrating events to coworkers, family and friends. We grumble all day about how our day is going, but the truth is if you took a minute refocused and looked at it… really you conquered those little trials, you persevered, and they ended up being minor frustrations rather than big catastrophes!

Therefore, I challenge you the next time you are having ‘one of those days’ take a minute to refocus look for the opportunities to be grateful for and I guarantee you, it will change your mood for the day!

Thank you 2019: Valuable Lessons Learned!

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Thank you 2019 for challenging me to be a better version of myself.

I know I am not alone in the fact that at times 2019 seemed really challenging and if I had to capture it in a sentence, I would say … 2019 has been a year of tremendous growth for me. Most of this growth, (like most growth) has come from being challenged and realizing that my familiar patterns were not helping me but rather causing my suffering.

There are two important lessons that I take away from 2019 that I thought I would share because they have been life-changing for me. And I don’t think I am alone in having to learn them!

The first lesson is lessons of love.

 

I have learned about love in so many different ways. First, I have learned that I (like everyone) am worthy of love, no matter what my inner critic tells me. This lesson came when I realized I was looking to my relationships to prove that I was lovable, after years of this pattern I finally realized it was not working! Although people have loved me, I never really truly believed it because I didn’t love myself.

Which is the second love lesson, I learned that what I really wanted all these years was to love myself. This was not a huge surprise as I had heard it forever, but what I didn’t know was that although I thought I loved myself (and I did to a certain degree) most of this love for myself was dependent on others’ opinions of me. I believe this was the birth of the ‘people pleaser’ personality in me. In my experience, I would ‘please’ others to gain their approval to prove that I was lovable. As soon as I realized this, I knew I needed to make some changes. These changes involved for the first time in my life putting myself first and breaking the pattern of ‘people-pleasing’ and always putting others first. I have to say that at first, this felt really uncomfortable as my pleasing others was so deeply ingrained. With practice and a lot of positive self-talk, this became easier and easier. I am sure as I continue to work on this pattern it will continue to get easier!

 

I guess you can say that 2019, was the death of my ‘people pleaser’ and the birth of my self-love. And self- love for me, was the acceptance of all of who I am; loving and embracing all parts of myself. Including the shadow aspects of my personality. This too took some effort on my part, as the parts of myself that I deemed as undesirable had been suppressed for so long that they felt foreign to me. To embrace them meant I had to face them and love them for what they are. This means that I can love the parts of me that can be mean, can be rude and can be selfish. They are all apart of what makes me, me and they are loved!

Once I stopped trying to hide the undesirable parts of myself and just loved where I was at and who I was, the more I could accept that others loved me too! See that’s the thing when we don’t love our self, then no matter what others say, or do we will never truly believe they love us. Too many of us look to others to prove that we are loveable and worthy of love. But we end up harming our relationships because we can’t accept love unless we accept love from our self first.

All of these lessons in love allowed me to open my heart … truly open my heart to others and to myself. Now having an open heart does feel vulnerable but I would rather be open and vulnerable than to not experience love in all of its warmth and joy!

Needless to say, this was a journey that took the better part of a year and although I feel like I am on the stable ground these are lessons that I will continue to work on into 2020.

The next biggest lesson in 2019 is that life is much better when I live in a state of flow. This one took a lot of conscious work on my part to counteract the cultural lessons that have been ingrained in me. To me living in flow is doing what brings me joy, on a minute to minute basis. Really listening to my intuition and my body on what is the best choice for me. At times these choices felt and still feel like a leap of faith. What I have realized now is that when I am not in a state of flow life is hard work … my body is tense, and my mind is chaotic, and my thoughts are overwhelming.

On the other hand, flow to me is a state of inner peace, it is a beautiful, calm, strong trusting place. Mostly this work required me to ask myself “am I doing this because it brings me joy” if the answer was ‘no’ then I didn’t do it! Even though that meant that at the time I was not doing the ‘acceptable’, if it did not feel right, then I didn’t do it.

These two lessons go hand in hand. It takes self-love to be able to stay in flow especially when you are going against cultural priorities!

Overall 2019, has been a year of tremendous growth for me, at times this growth felt like I was moving nowhere and at times it felt like I was going backwards. There was more than one occasion that I asked myself if I was crazy! But that’s the thing about personal growth if you are pushing yourself into new territory it is bound to feel awkward and uncomfortable. You are moving past patterns, that you have been working with for years.

 

I like to think of personal growth like the transition of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. The transition that the caterpillar goes through is a difficult one. It takes all of its energy and inner strength to complete, and at times it is in pure agony, but when the wings start to form it is all worth it!

 

 

For me, I say good-bye to 2019 with a huge thank you for all that I learned, and I look forward to 2020 where I get to test out my new wings.

 

How about you-

What was 2019 like for you? I would love to hear if you are willing to share.

The Value of the Season!

What do you Value for the Holidays!

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We all have different values and when it comes to the holidays we all value different things! When we live out of alignment with our values it causes us stress. With this in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to reduce the amount of stress over the holidays by helping you with your holiday values. When you understand what you value most over the holidays you can make choices that align with those values and have a more enjoyable holiday!

Many of us throw the word value around and really don’t understand how important our values actually are to us. We may say “I value family”, but then when it comes to spending time with our families, we put it on the bottom of the priority list – behind work, chores, and other “have tos”. When we do this, we usually feel a sense of shame or guilt for not spending time with our families.  We are living out of alignment with our values and, for that, we experience stress!

This holiday season, why not make it easier on yourself and figure out what your values are? Then do your best to live within those values, honour yourself!

The Value of the Season!

Ask Yourself

How to determine your holiday values is simple.

Take a few minutes to reflect on the past few holidays and ask yourself:

What brings me the most joy over the holidays?
When am I the happiest during the holiday?
If I had to give up something what could I absolutely not give up?
What does my dream holiday season look like?

Take the time to really feel into the questions, allow your imagination to go wild. Write down a few things that really stick out to you. You will probably notice that some common themes start to emerge.

Whether the answers revolve around such things as having family present or having some quiet downtime, to seeking adventure, or maybe it’s even solitude…the possibilities are endless. Whatever the answer may be, really tune into yourself. And most importantly don’t judge yourself for your answers!

 

Once you have a few common themes, take a few minutes to evaluate if this is a true value for you. For example, the value of peace is arising for you and when you check in with yourself, this doesn’t feel like something you would value.

Ask yourself:

Is this something that I really want or is it something that I believe that I need?
Is this something that really matters to me or is it something that others say I need?
Does this feel like a priority to me or does it feel like an obligation?

Take this time to really check in with yourself.

Does this feel authentic to you? Yes or No

If yes, then you have your list of values for the holidays.  If not, then you have identified the things that are most likely causing you stress. You are doing these things out of obligation or out of a belief that you ‘need’ to be doing them. This sense of obligation has overridden your true values and is causing you stress.

If this is the case, you need to take the time to re-evaluate what it is that you love about the holidays, use your imagination to identify your dream holiday season. What is it that you are doing? Who is there? What does it look like? What does it feel like?

If you can answer these questions and come up with your dream holiday season you will be able to identify your values. The following questions will help you to narrow in on your values:

Is it that you are surrounded by family or out at social events?

Are you following traditions or are you creating new memories?

Is it in a place that you know and love and feel comfortable or is it an exciting new place?

The Value of the Season!

Make it Happen

Once you have that picture clear in your mind, you can identify what is most important for you about the holidays. Now all you need to do is make the decision to make it happen!

How do you make it happen? Well, that requires you to stay true to you! Set boundaries say ‘no’ to things that are not aligning with your values and most importantly be grateful and enjoy taking part in the things you enjoy!

Wishing you a holiday season that is all you have dreamed of that aligns you with your highest values.

What if Everything You Want is on the Other End of Patience

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I have to admit patience is really not my strong suit I struggle to stay patient especially when I am passionate about something. This has been a big lesson, that I am still learning, especially with my business.
When I started out building TSW Life Coaching I was passionate and felt in my core that coaching was exactly what I was meant to do, I just knew it and still do! The thing that I didn’t realize at that point is that I had my own growing to do and that would take precedence over my business. This was my journey and it has taken me a long time to accept that things happen in exactly the right order at exactly the right time and my only responsibility is to have patience and be aware.

I have had so many instances of the Universe providing for me exactly what I need at exactly the right time that I can’t (even when I try to), deny that there is a Divine plan for me, there is for all of us. Where we find stress is when we try to control the situation, and we miss the opportunities along the way because we are so focused on the end goal that we miss the journey. Not to mention that we judge ourselves and compare ourselves along the way which makes the journey at points really miserable.

In my example, I am a way better coach than I was because I have taken the time, despite how much of a struggle it was at times to build myself before building my business. The growth and insight I have received on this journey has allowed me to serve my clients at a higher more in tune level and that was the reason for the longer than originally anticipated journey.

This doesn’t mean that I think my growth has stopped, I don’t think it ever does and that excites me! What I do think is that too many of us have a goal and all we do is focus on the end. Yes, it’s important to have goals but I think we need to focus on the journey as well and be patient and understand there are bigger things at play. In our culture we are all about doing, striving to reach for our goals pushing to make things happen, very masculine energy. There is nothing wrong with having goals and striving for them but when we only focus on the goal we miss out on life. We judge ourselves according to how close we are to the goal and we miss all the wonderful opportunities to grow along the way. We see this time as a necessary evil to reaching the goal but the perspective shift I have realized is that the journey to the goal is actually the steps needed to make the goal manifest. Even when those steps seem to be taking you in a different direction they simply are a new route to the goal that is even better than we had envisioned.

From my life as I have said in working on my business I have been challenged to grow and learn more about myself. This growth and learning have resulted in me creating something even better and more authentic to who I am than I ever could have envisioned in the beginning. Once I accepted this and really tried to lean into having patience (as hard as it is at times), the more I realized that the journey has brought myself and my business to a better place.

I guess the takeaway from this is set your goals but remain open to what it looks like to get to that goal. Be patient with the process and enjoy the journey along the way. Stop beating yourself and stressing yourself out because you are not getting to the goal as fast as you would like. Just trust in the journey!

Cougar, Bears, Bobcats & Trust! What the Wilderness taught me about myself and the Universe.

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Life always gives you what you need when you need it and this lesson in trust was exactly what I needed, and no surprise when I needed it!

Last summer I had a desire to spend some time in nature with my dog. It’s like I was being drawn to the woods. I listened to this calling and took a week off from work, not really sure what I was going to do. I reached out to family to see if they had some suggestions on places where I could go, my uncle had a cabin that he said I could use. Perfect, I thought! I had never been to their cabin but things were falling in place so I trusted that this was where I should be! I took the leap of faith, packed up the car and the dog and off I went to my uncles’ cabin in the woods.

When I got there it was gorgeous, it was in the woods on a lake … it was perfect! What I didn’t realize is that it was in a small community of cabins that were pretty much abandoned during the week. Which meant I was going to be pretty much alone out there. At first, this did not bother me, I had at this point in my life become very accustomed and comfortable with being alone.

My uncle showed me around the cabin, which was built on a hill, the main part of the cabin was on the top of the hill and there was a steep staircase outside down to a basement/spare bedroom which was built into the hill. The basement/spare room was rustic, (like you could see the tree roots and tree trunks) in parts of the basement. Usually, this part of the cabin was locked with a padlock, as the only entrance to it was from the outside. My uncle showed it to me despite me objecting, as I didn’t think I would really need it, thank goodness he did, as you will see in a minute. During the walkthrough my Uncle also shared with me that they have cougars in the area he had seen tracks right outside the cabin at different times throughout the year, and that there was a grizzly bear that other residents stated lived just across the field, and that they had witnessed black bears in the area, oh and maybe some bobcats too! I am not that outdoorsy and more than anything I was concerned about my dog, who at this point was losing her mind because on top of all the dangerous animals there were squirrels and my dog loves to chase things, especially small rodents.

After getting all settled in, I decided to take my dog for a walk. We ventured out with some apprehension as I had never been there and to be honest my dog is my baby, so I was concerned for her safety (as I often am). We took a walk and found a path to walk for a bit. It was nice, I soaked in nature. Feeling more grounded and mostly calm, because on my walk I had realized this was the first time since Woody passed away that I had been on a trip completely on my own. I had travelled on my own but always had people to meet up with or conferences to attend, this time I was completely ALONE! This thought was exciting but as with anything outside of our comfort zone was also uncomfortable and so I was also feeling a bit anxious.

We (my dog and I) spent the rest of the day enjoying the lake and the woods… then returned to the cabin at night time.

It was a bit nerve-wracking being there with Bramble in the dark as she was on high alert for squirrels and I was definitely on alert for any potential risks. Not that it felt overwhelming but just on alert!

I went to bed in the QUIET absolute silence, which was nice but also made it obvious how very alone I was!

About 2:00 am I was awoken by my dog. Once I got my bearing from being startled awake, she let me know she needed to go outside. I turned the outside lights on (giving the wildlife fair warning to disperse, at least that was my thoughts and left them on for a minute before we ventured outside). Bramble was of course on a leash because as mentioned she loves to chase things and I didn’t want her running off chasing a squirrel in the dark. We walked out the sliding door and as there were now moths and mosquitos swarming the lights, I turned to slide close the door behind me. Didn’t even have a second thought about it, it was a sliding door with a latch lock, no worries, right?!?!

Bramble walked around outside well truth be told she hunted around, turns out she just wanted out to hunt squirrels! I pulled her back on her long leash and we turned to open the sliding door… it didn’t open! It was locked! OMG!!!! Sliding doors don’t lock, I thought so I pulled a little harder feeling more frantic and the anxiety rising!

It didn’t open! OMG!!!OMG!!! OMG!!! I was alone in my PJ shorts in the middle of the isolated wilderness with bears and cougars and god knows what else lurking in the shadows, not to mention being eaten alive by mosquitos and I was ALONE! Absolutely, ALONE!

My car was locked, the cabin was now locked, and I didn’t even have shoes on! As I sat on the picnic table fear quickly turned into a complete state of panic! What was I going to do?

There were not a lot of options.

I took a couple of deep breaths put a couple of prayers out to the Universe and I’m sure swore a couple of times. Fear had completely settled in now and as our minds do, I went to some pretty dark places. I envisioned myself still on the picnic table hours later covered in welts from the mosquitos, I pictured a grizzly bear, and bobcat and cougar coming to check us out (oh the places our minds go) After what seemed like an eternity of running through devastating scenarios, my warrior instinct kicked in … I was familiar with this part of myself as it had come in useful in dealing with Woody’s passing. I mustered up my courage and calmed myself down so I could think. I started making plans on how we were going to make it through the night. No sooner than I summoned the warrior in me did I remember there was the basement and it was unlocked (thank goodness my uncle insisted on showing me this part of the cabin).

I went into the basement and looked around to see if there was anything, I could use to get me out of this situation. I could have just stayed in the basement, but it was dark and to a city girl like me a little creepy, who knows what creepy crawlers and rodents were hiding in the shadows. If need be, at the very least, I had somewhere to be until dawn! As I looked around feeling more inspiration and more trust in my abilities, I scoured the basement to see if there was something, I could use to open the door. I found a few random things screwdriver, a dragonfly metal ornament with a flat edge (I thought I could flip the latch) and a few other random items that could maybe push the latch up. I tried them one at a time…. Nope, nothing worked!

I kept looking around and then there it was … a LADDER … YAY!

I took the ladder outside after struggling to free it from its place hanging on the wall. I placed the ladder next to the only window that was unlocked (it had the air conditioner vent in it). The ladder just and I mean like JUST reached the window. Remember the cabin is built on a hill so the ladder was sitting on uneven ground, and in order to reach the window, I would have to stand on the top step, the one that clearly says do not stand on. I again mustered my strength and carefully climbed the shaky ladder and stood on the very top. There I was like 6 feet up, all the time being aware that there could be any number of wild animals watching me! Probably licking their teeth at the prospect of me breaking my neck on this shaky ladder.

After some struggle and a lot of persistence, I was able to push the hose for the air conditioner out of the window which left me a small opening to get through. This whole time I had Bramble locked in the basement, I could hear her at times trying to open the basement door to get to me or more likely squirrels.

After taking a deep breath I stretched my leg up and got it through the opening, still not totally sure I could get my whole body through this small window, but I had to try! I sat there straddling the window in the middle of the dark, quiet woods, trying to find my footing on the inside of the cabin, when my tippy toe found something that felt stable, I made the push to get in through the window.  Although I am sure not so gracefully, I made it through and stumbled into the cabin.

I almost cried with relief. I was so proud of myself! I didn’t give up; I had shown again I was stronger than I thought, and I had not given into the fear and anxiety that had plagued my mind just minutes earlier. I quickly went and unlocked the door and this time I left it open, as I went basement to get Bramble.

Needless to say, I didn’t really sleep well the rest of the night my adrenaline was pumping. During the rest of the night, I again reflected on how I am stronger than and I think, and it was at this time I realized I am completely good on my own… I can do it!

I also realized although I am good on my own, that I don’t want to be alone anymore either! this was really the first time since Woody passed that I actually wanted someone in my life, I didn’t NEED them but actually wanted to share a life with someone again. This was huge for me!

This experience also reaffirmed to me that the Universe really does have my back, it really does provide us with what we need, when we need it. I am not only talking about the ladder here but the challenge itself which provided me with the opportunity to recognize that I am safe and capable and stronger than give I myself credit for.

The next day, I tried, out of pure curiosity, to make the latch lock on itself again, I tried numerous times to recreate the scenario from the night before (I did have the keys this time) and could not replicate the door locking.

Later, I spoke to my family and they said that it had never happened, and they were stunned (as I was that night) that the door locked. They even tried to make it happen since and have never been able to replicate the latch locking.  I should also mention they were surprised that there was even a ladder out there, they didn’t know why it was there!

I truly believe it was the Universe providing me with a lesson I needed to learn and for that I am grateful!

I completed my wilderness escape the next day by going for a long hike to a waterfall and taking in nature in all its beauty. This renewed trust in my safety and trust in the Universe made this hike completely enjoyable. I was able to be present in the moment, enjoying nature. I was so trusting I even let Bramble off the lead, and she ran through the woods, loving the adventure.

This is not the first and I am sure not the last time I will be given challenges from the Universe that further prove to me I am safe, and strong and that the Universe really does have my back!

5 Life-Changing Resolutions for 2019

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The new year is a time when so many of us start taking stock of our lives in efforts to evaluate where we want to make some changes. Most of the time we focus on external changes that we feel will bring us happiness, but what most of us fail to realize is that happiness comes from within.

These 5 resolutions when practiced regularly are life changing! The simplicity of implementing in no way minimizes the positive effect they can have on your life.

 

Prioritize Self-Care

Too many of us, put ourselves last. We give to our family, our friends, work and even strangers, but when it comes to caring and giving back to ourselves, we simply don’t.

Sometimes it’s because we feel we are being greedy if we take time for ourselves, sometimes we feel we don’t deserve it, and sometimes we feel we just simply don’t have the time. Whatever the excuse, it’s this simple. If you continue to give to others and don’t care for yourself, you will eventually burn out!

It may come in the form of withdrawing from life, physical illness or feelings of resentment. However it manifests one thing is for sure if you neglect yourself, it definitely will!

5 Life Changing Resolutions for 2019

 

 

This year vow to yourself to take care of you! You deserve it! Schedule time for self-care … and the important part … actually, enjoy that time. Do things that recharge your soul and bring you joy! If you don’t care for yourself who will?

 

 

Take Time to Pause (Practice Mindfulness)

We all lead busy lives and I understand that you may think “I don’t have time”. The thing is, if you don’t pause, life passes you by. Pausing means taking a minute to be mindful, to be in the moment, to really be present to the current experience. This is a simple thing that you can do at any point in your day. Take the time to just be, it’s like a daily recess for your mind, body and spirit.
Vow to yourself that every day, at least once a day you will pause and be in the moment. Who knows, you may like it so much that you practice it more often.

Practice Gratitude

I have written numerous times on the importance of practicing gratitude. It is something that all of us can do and its effects are life-changing. Gratitude shifts our mind from a feeling of lack and negativity to one of positive abundance. Who doesn’t want that?

5 Life Changing Resolutions for 2019

 

Every day, take time to list at least 5 things that you are grateful for. Some days they may come quick, some days it may be a struggle. But stick with it and you will start to notice that it becomes automatic. All of a sudden you will start to notice you are not practicing gratitude, but living a grateful life and that is powerful!

 

 

Befriend your Inner Critic

 

 

We are our own worst critics! We are harder on ourselves than anyone else would ever be, and yes, there are protective aspects to our inner critic. (read more about your inner critic here). But we do not have to take the negative messages that we say to ourselves as the absolute truth. We have a choice!

 

 

When you recognize that you are being critical try having a conversation with yourself. Recognize the message then choose to not believe it, let it go if it is not helpful! Don’t let your inner critic hold you back this year, move past the negative messages. They are not the truth. Most of the time they are just fear!

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

This almost goes hand in hand with the inner critic. When we compare ourselves to others, we usually are either doing it in a way that minimizes us or degrades others, neither of which is helpful! Instead of comparing yourself, recognize that we are all different and we all have our unique journeys. The one thing we do all have in common is that we are all doing our best with what we have at any given moment.

 

5 Life Changing Resolutions for 2019

Instead of comparing yourself try having compassion for both yourself and others. Know that you are doing your best and so are they! Don’t assume that you or others are doing things purposely to screw up or hurt you. I don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning excited, at the prospect of failing at life, we all try, but we all have our different ways. We all make our way through life the best we can.

 

This year, if you find that you are comparing yourself to someone else, stop and recognize that you are the best version of you and no one else in the world could do a better job of being you!

 

 

 

These are 5 simple things that you can implement today, but the effects are life-changing. When you are able to master these skills, suddenly you may notice that your other resolutions are either now irrelevant or seem easily achievable.

 

 

 

 

 

Whatever 2019 brings I wish you all the best for the New Year. My hope is that you are all able to live a life YOU love!

Dear 2018…

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As we approach the New Year I am looking forward to new adventures and new growth. I am also finding myself thinking of the past year and what I have accomplished, and I am reminded that it is important to celebrate our accomplishments and successes. Too often we just gloss over all that we have done, and we rarely celebrate it. Usually, when we accomplish something we just look towards the next challenge. I encourage you to take the next couple of days to reflect back on the past year and recognize all that you have accomplished, these questions will help guide you, to celebrate you!

 

 

What was my biggest challenge this year?

Reflect back on what was the biggest challenge you had this year? How did you handle it? Even if it did not turn out as you wanted, or things were not perfect, what did you do at this time to get yourself through? Celebrate the fact that you made it through and perhaps even learned something along the way. Pat yourself on the back. That you coped and survived, that is awesome.

What strengths did I realize?

Think back on your year, what new strengths can you identify? Is there something that you never thought you could do or something that you said previously “oh that’s not me!” but you did it anyhow? All too often we are quick to judge ourselves and minimize our strengths take this time to recognize your strengths, make a list of at least 30 strengths that you possess. These don’t necessarily have to be new strengths but maybe ones that you have minimized in the past. Congratulate yourself on your strengths, focus on the positive.

Look Back before Moving Forward

What have I accomplished?

Look back on the year and recognize all that you have accomplished. Again, this does not mean that everything had to go right or perfect, but chances are there are still some accomplishments, maybe even smaller, ones that you can celebrate. For example, you wanted a new career and haven’t found that yet, but you have updated your resume, taken courses that will help you get your dream job, or maybe you have stepped out of your comfort zone and applied for jobs that you feared. Whatever it is, the accomplishment doesn’t have to a big huge thing it could be the little hard steps you took towards your big goal.

 

What am I most proud of this year?

Ask yourself what you are most proud of doing this year. For me, I am proud of how much I have grown in the area of self-love and how I have really embraced all the aspects of myself that have shown up this year (the good and the (perceived ‘bad’. I have continued to put myself out there both with my business and socially and have grown tremendously in this area. I have really stayed true and followed my path at times it has not been easy, but I persevered because I know it is the best thing for me.

Be kind to yourself and recognize what you have done this year that you are proud of.

 

These are just a few questions that can help you celebrate 2018 and how you have shown up throughout the year. When you go through the questions, write it down, it is easy when we just do it in our heads to counteract the positive but when it is in black and white it is a lot harder to discount it!

For some of you, this may be difficult (as it is at times for me). We are so quick to judge and criticize ourselves and we feel if we celebrate ourselves that we are bragging or being egotistical, this could not be further from the truth!  If we are shouting from the rooftops how great we are and that we are better than everyone else, then, that is ego. If we are saying “wow, I am proud of myself because I have accomplished this, or handled this, or have these strengths”, that is showing ourselves love and giving ourselves a pat on the back, not bragging!

Bonus

If you do take this time to celebrate 2018 and how you showed up, your outlook for 2019 will be a more positive and it may change your perspective for your New Years resolution from “I need to fix this part of me because it is broken” to a much kinder more compassionate “I want to grow more in this area because I am worth it”.

Wishing you all the best in 2019 and I hope you have a wonderful New Year! Check in next week for tips on New Year’s Resolutions!

 

3 Ways to Honour this Remembrance Day

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In honour of Remembrance Day, this November 11th, I thought it would be fitting if I shared 3 ways that we can truly honour the sacrifices made by so many for us to enjoy our freedom. The great thing is they are not limited to one special day but that we can carry out throughout the year. These three things are part of living an authentic life and enjoying the freedoms we have because so many sacrificed.

Included with each suggestion is an action step that you can use to practice these lessons in your life.

 

3 Ways to Honour this Remembrance Day

 

  • Be grateful – Others sacrificed for all that we have.

Gratitude is not limited to only the good times. It is also recognizing that no matter how life is going at the moment, there is always something to be grateful for. I think this is especially true where we live. There are so many freedoms that we have, and so many amazing people on this planet that are doing spectacular things that there is always something to be grateful for. As I have previously mentioned, I think that we focus too often on the negative aspects of both our lives and what’s going on in the world. When we talk about the atrocities, we feed the fear monster with stories of the anger, hatred and suffering going on in the world. Some of us even focus on the negative in our lives and spend most of our time dwelling in this dark places. This is not living a grateful life. This is living a life that perpetuates the belief that we live in an unsafe, scary, nasty world. Being grateful does not mean that we only focus on the positive or bury our heads in the sand. What it does mean is making a conscious effort to recognize what we have to be grateful for and there is a lot of it!

Action step:

This Remembrance Day, be grateful for all that you have and all that you are able to do. Try making this a day where you will openly express your gratitude for all the things you enjoy in your life. Tell your family why you are grateful for them, tell strangers who hold the door for you that you are grateful, tell that friend who always supports you, you are grateful. Whatever it is share your gratitude today … out loud!

 

3 Ways to Honour this Remembrance Day

 

  • Enjoy your freedom – become really free!

Freedom is an interesting word… we say that we are free, but I think a lot of us do not actually feel free. We are bogged down by obligations, by commitments, by beliefs about how we should live our lives and we feel that we “have” to do this and “have” to do that. This is not really the definition of freedom. For so many people, freedom is just a word that has no power in their lives. They work in jobs that are not satisfying, they settle for relationships that they are not happy in, they wake up in the morning going “Ugh, another day”. Does this sound free? It sure doesn’t to me.

Freedom for me is having each and every moment to choose happiness, to choose a life that excites you, to choose to live authentically. How can we say that we are free when most decisions we make are guided by stories that we tell ourselves about what life “should” be, rather than what we desire? We live in a society that, in theory, allows us the freedom to live a good life, but then we restrain our choices because we fear the consequences of stepping out of our comfort zone. We feel we need to work our butts off to save for retirement so then we can enjoy freedom. We struggle in relationships so that we are not alone because alone is undesirable. We work in jobs that we hate so that we are being a good member of society. We put off vacations because we have too many obligations. We don’t take care of our mental and physical health needs because there is no time for that “stuff”. Does this sound like freedom? I get that there are things that must be done, but wouldn’t it be liberating if the have to’s were the rarity and want to’s were the rule?

Action step:

Today is a great day to start living your freedom! Take some time in self-reflection today and notice one thing in your life that you are feeling (“Ugh, I have to do this”), and either find something about that thing that you can love, or change it. Here is what I have committed to doing. I strongly dislike doing the dishes they are one of my “have” to’s and I try to avoid them like the plague! So my agreement in the name of freedom is this – I know the dishes need to get done so I can either replace them all with paper plates (not going to happen), so I have decided that I will make a “doing the dishes” playlist on my phone and choose songs that I love that I sing and dance to and that will make this mundane chore a little more exciting and fun!

Your ‘change to freedom’ item can be simple like mine. Or perhaps it’s something bigger like looking for a new job that satisfies you. If that is not in the cards yet, maybe you could find a hobby that you love that makes your long days more bearable.  Whatever it may be, choose something that you can do this weekend to honour those by living a truly free life!

 

3 Ways to Honour this Remembrance Day

 

  • Promote kindness – Make our world a better place.

When we get stuck in our lives, we often miss out on the opportunity to make our world a better place. Kindness is one thing that we are all capable of doing that makes our world a better place. There is a Random Acts of Kindness day where we practice doing a random act of kindness. I love this idea, but I say why not do it all the time? Imagine what our world would be like if everyone did at least one act of kindness a day! I know it sounds kind of love-in and hippie-like, but seriously, if we all practiced kindness on a daily or weekly basis we would feel better and others would benefit too!

The idea behind a random act of kindness is that it is for no other reason than to be kind to another. You are not doing it for gratitude, for recognition or for reward, but simply to just share the kindness. Some of you may be thinking that you don’t have time for this, but that’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be some big grand gesture. It can be small and simple and fit into your daily routine. Like a pebble thrown in a pond, your act of kindness has ripple effects that reach far and wide in our communities and in our world.

Action step:

Choose something that you can commit to doing to demonstrate kindness to someone on a weekly basis. Here are a few ideas:

 

Leave the money in the shopping cart for the next person

Buy a coffee for the next person in line

Give up your parking space

Volunteer with your favorite organization

Shovel a neighbor’s snow

Anonymously buy someone flowers in the office

Bring in treats anonymously to the office

 

There are countless ways to show kindness, if you have other ideas please add them in the comments section; let’s get a good list going!

3 Ways to Honour this Remembrance Day

 

So, while you are honouring and observing Remembrance Day/Veterans Day this Sunday keep these 3 things in mind: practice gratitude, enjoy your freedom and promote kindness. Let’s really honour our veterans and make our lives and our world a place that is truly living free and happy!

 

Thank you to all of those who have sacrificed. I respect and honour your sacrifices and I am deeply grateful!

Thanksgiving Promise

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I speak about gratitude often, and with this weekend being Canadian Thanksgiving I am reminded of how important it is to have an attitude of gratitude all year round.

Thanksgiving Promise
I have found in my practice, both my own and with my clients, that practicing gratitude is life changing! Here are a few ways how gratitude helps you:

 

1) Switch your thinking from a negative space to something lighter.

We are naturally hardwired to focus on the negative, that means that we spend a lot of our time in negative space. We look for the bad, we look for all the things that can harm us, but the fact is we are not at risk all the time, we don’t NEED to be constantly on guard. Therefore, when you notice that your mind is in a negative place you can retrain it by shifting it towards gratitude. Instead of being focused on the negative, be thankful for the fact that you are safe. Be thankful for Mother Earth, be thankful for your families and loved ones who support and help you; really anything that you can think of. Turn your negative thoughts into thoughts of gratitude and rewire your negative brain!

2) Move through fear.

I am sure I am not the only one who has been in an overwhelmingly joyful situation and suddenly a wave of fear rushes over and ruins the moment. We feel this joy, like when we are having a romantic evening with our spouse or a play date with our kids and all of a sudden, this wave of fear comes over us. We fear that our child could get sick that our spouse could leave us … that something horrible could happen to take away our happiness. When this happens, you can turn your mind towards gratitude. Instead of letting fear rob you of the joyful moment you can be thankful and joyful!

 

3) Recognize the good.

Just like training any muscle in our body the more we can turn our thoughts towards the good the stronger that muscle gets. By focusing on what you can be grateful for rather than what is going wrong we train ourselves to see the good. We build that muscle and after a while (when that muscle develops) we will automatically see the good in all situations. This even applies to life’s hard lessons when we are suffering. Because you have trained your brain to be grateful, you will be able to see beyond the suffering and recognize (no matter how small) the good in the situation. There is always something good in any situation, train yourself to see it. With every storm comes the rain that nurtures the Earth.

Thanksgiving Promise

 

4) Grounds in the present moment.

When we are practicing gratitude, we are grounded in the present moment. Living in the past or forecasting the future causes us grief. When we are ruminating on the past, thinking and rethinking about what went wrong, what we could have/should have done; or, we are forecasting the future, let’s face it, it’s usually forecasting doom and gloom; we are not in the present, we are not living mindfully. When you practice gratitude, you are firmly grounding yourself in the present, you are using your powerful mind to focus on what is good, in the present moment, and that is exactly where we find peace.
I can’t speak enough about the power of gratitude, but I also know this can be a struggle when we are in the middle of a stormy time, but that is precisely when we need it most! All I can say is you won’t understand how powerful this practice can be unless you try!

Thanksgiving Promise

 

 

 

This Thanksgiving make a promise to yourself that you will practice gratitude daily; take that Thanksgiving feeling with you into the future and see how life changing it can be! And remember there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for!

With much gratitude for your following, Happy Thanksgiving!